Help me, Mama! How a Postpartum Doula Can Help You
The days and weeks after your baby’s birth can be completely overwhelming, whether you’re a new or experienced mother. You may find yourself struggling to balance caring for your new baby and caring for yourself, not to mention your family. Internal questions of whether you’re doing things right, along with all the “friendly advice” you’ll probably received from family and friends – together, it’s enough to push your nerves to the limit. Add in the hormonal and physical changes your body is going through, and it’s enough to reduce most moms to tears.
But you don’t have to do everything on your own. There is someone who can help you care for the baby and yourself, and has the training and heart to support you, to listen, and to answer all those questions you have – a postpartum doula.
What Postpartum Doulas Do
“I think every mom should have a postpartum doula,” says Jaime Dore, a certified postpartum doula in Washington. “For first time moms, it's helpful to have someone to answer your breastfeeding and baby care questions. It's overwhelming being a new mom, and I think many moms underestimate how tired and stressful the postpartum period can be.”
Unlike labor doulas, a postpartum doula is usually hired on an hourly basis to come to the mother’s home after the baby’s born. Some birth doulas offer a postpartum meeting, but this is usually just a one or two hour conversation, used to process the birth experience and ask questions. The postpartum doula, however, offers more hands-on help. Depending on your situation and the postpartum doula’s availability, you may have the postpartum doula at your home for two to three hours a day, every day of the week, or just a few times a week.
“I try to anticipate what the mother needs without her having to ask,” explains Jamie. “I always make sure that she has water to drink, that she has a shower or rest if she needs it. I urge the mother to take a break and eat something, because that usually is last on her list of priorities. A lot of times, I think moms also just want someone to talk to and ask questions.”
Postpartum doulas are trained to help women not only help while they are with their clients, but also to help brainstorm and organize things so that in between visits, the mother has more time to rest and care for her newborn. The doula may make a few days worth of meals to freeze, to make dinner and lunch time easier. If you have a two-story home, the doula may help set up a place to do diaper changes and naps on the first floor, so you don’t need to walk up and down steps as much.
Putting Your Needs First
And if you still don’t feel comfortable with bathing the baby or cord care, the doula won’t just do it for you, like a baby nurse would, but she’ll actually take the time to show you how, so that you’ll feel more confident on your own. “In terms of baby care, I help mothers with everything from changing diapers to giving ideas about why the baby is fussy, to tips on different nursing positions and correct latch,” says Jamie. “I pretty much do all types of baby care, as long as it is not medical in nature.”
It’s important to know that a postpartum doula’s help goes beyond what a maid or babysitter provides. “The biggest difference between a postpartum doula and a babysitter, or maid service, is the knowledge of the postpartum woman and her needs. My first priority is the mother's well-being, not the housework or baby care,” says Jamie.
Some are lucky enough to have family living near by who can help, which is excellent. Even so, family help can become more stressful than helpful.
“I just feel that when you hire someone to come into your home, you feel more at ease with telling them what you need,” says Rita Blood, a certified labor and postpartum doula. “When you have your relatives in, you tend to think they know more then you as a first time Mom; and you don't really know what to ask for. Doulas have been trained to see what is needed and do it.
“I've found that relatives tend to come in and take over the baby, and want Mom to rest. . . . She ends up not being with her baby,” Rita explains. “Doulas are there to take care of Mom, and talk her through what to do for the baby.”
Hiring and Paying for a Postpartum Doula
Ideally, you should start looking for a postpartum doula before the baby’s born. But if you didn’t get to hiring someone until after the birth, don’t let that stop you from looking for someone.
“It is never too late to try to find a postpartum doula!” says Jamie. “A mother can contact me at any point during her pregnancy or even after she has the baby. It is totally up to the mother. I do advise having a doula as soon as possible after the baby's birth, though, because I have found that the weeks right after birth are when help is usually needed the most.”
“It is never ‘too late’,” agrees Rita. “I have gone in two months after a baby was born.”
You can find a postpartum doula through many of the doula certification organization websites, most have a referral service or database online. As for typical cost, the rates range from $15 to $35 an hour, depending on location, the doula’s experience and training level, and how many hours you decide to hire her for.
If you really want a postpartum doula, but the price seems a bit high, request gift certificates from friends. “It makes a great baby shower gift,” says Jamie. “All of my business has actually been through gift certificates.”
Sometimes insurance will help pay, so be sure to call them and ask. It’s also worth looking into local organizations that help low-income families find pregnant and postpartum help.
Giving birth and taking care of that new little one is hard enough without trying to do it alone – treat yourself to a postpartum doula. You deserve it.